Before I became a parent, I always struggled with what to bring my friends and family when visiting after they had a baby. I’d always do the obvious “what do you need?” ask, but more often than not, they’d do the midwestern “no need to bring anything” that, in hindsight, was probably due to the decision fatigue I know I was dealing with during this period. In most cases I showed up with a cute outfit for the baby and a Door Dash gift card, knowing they probably had a drawer full of clothes they won’t end up using but not wanting to show up empty-handed.
When I had my son, my friends and family who already had kids showed up with some of the best gifts and convenience items. I felt grateful, but I also felt a bit ashamed, thinking about how I could have done these seemingly obvious things for people in my life had they actually crossed my mind.
So if you’re wondering what to bring someone who just had a baby, here are some ideas:
Paper Plates
I know this sounds ridiculous. But the last thing these parents want to do is dishes. Go to Costco and get a big bag of paper plates. While you’re there, grab a rotisserie chicken or chicken pot pie that you can put in their fridge for when they need a few days worth of food.
A grocery bag full of random snacks
One of my favorite things that people brought over was a bag full of snacks. Go to Trader Joe’s or your local bougie grocery store and, with their tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, grab some fun snacks and treats – a little healthy, a little not – that you wouldn’t normally buy but always want to buy. If the postpartum recipient is breastfeeding, their body is a furnace burning through calories like they’re running the Boston Marathon.
Some of my friends showed up with a grocery bag full of nice coffee, chocolate-covered almonds and dried fruit, frozen pizza, kettle-cooked chips, Belgian waffles, a mini veggie tray, coconut water, and cold brew concentrate. It was amazing to have little treats at the ready that I wouldn’t normally buy myself. This is what I’ll do next time I’m visiting someone postpartum (along with a stack of paper plates). Make sure to include something high-protein and something caffeinated because they definitely need it.
Food delivery gift cards
If you don’t have the time or resources to go grocery shopping, a food delivery gift card is an excellent alternative. This was always my go-to gift right after birth because every pregnant person I know was desperate to splurge on some sushi.
Frozen prepared food
Whether you make it yourself or buy from the store, it’s also incredibly helpful for new parents to have a freezer full of ready-to-heat food. My sister-in-law showed up with two bags of frozen breakfast burritos, a lasagna, and a pan of lactation brownies. I’ll have to share recipes in a future post because I plan on making all of these to keep in my chest freezer before my next baby arrives.
Even if you don’t cook, go to the store and get a bag of frozen burritos or a frozen pizza to stick in their freezer.
Don’t have the funds? Offer to do a chore or watch the baby while they shower or nap.
If you don’t have extra money to spend on little treats and paper plates, offer to do a load of dishes or laundry, vacuum the house, or, if you (and the parents) are comfortable with it, watch the baby while they shower or take a nap.
You’ve probably noticed that this list is mostly practical food items. That’s because it’s literally all I wanted and needed during this phase. I’ve dealt with decision fatigue before having kids, but it was nothing compared to the decision fatigue I had when returning home from the hospital with a newborn. The last thing I wanted to think about was what we were having for dinner as my body introduced me to the ravenous hunger associated with breastfeeding. There is not a face mask or comfy robe in the world better than the feeling of knowing we could throw a frozen lasagna in the oven or order some sushi for the fifth time. After 9 months of deprivation, nothing beat a box full of spicy tuna rolls.
[…] What to bring when you visit new parents […]