When I first dove into the online parenting world with my first pregnancy, one big thing I noticed was the abundance of negative rhetoric around c-sections. It was so normalized to talk about c-sections in a negative way that it worked on me – when I thought about childbirth, the last thing I thought about was having a c-section. Just the idea of it filled me with terror because of all the “I almost died and had to have an emergency c-section” or “my c-section was not medically necessary” stories that are so prevalent in Facebook mom groups. I assumed that the only circumstances where I’d need one would be tragic circumstances that I did not want to think about.
Part of the problem is likely due to what I chose to expose myself to. I’m kinda crunchy, kinda not, but definitely crunchy enough to have been taken in by the “unmedicated, natural vaginal birth is best and you should do everything you can to commit to that” crowd.
Throughout my whole pregnancy I was convinced that I would have the unmedicated vaginal birth that several of my friends and family members wore like a badge of honor. After all, I have a high pain tolerance! I have wide hips! If they can do it, so can I!
The thing about pregnancy and childbirth is that the lack of control will really humble you. It humbled me. At my 20 week anatomy scan, they told me that my son was breech but not to worry about it because “babies flip around all the time at this stage”. The chances were overwhelmingly in my favor that he would settle into the head-down position by the time he was full-term, but in the slim chance he didn’t do that, I’d have to have a c-section because it’s the safest way to birth a breech baby.
At every appointment after that, I’d ask the doctors and midwives if he had flipped. Every time they’d say “not yet, but don’t worry – it’ll happen”.
In the meantime, I did what I could to encourage him to get head down. I did the spinning babies inversions. I did what felt like 20,000 cat-cow poses. I put a bag of frozen cranberries on my belly. I went to the chiropractor, which I barely even respect as a profession, to try the Webster technique. I went to an acupuncturist who specialized in fertility and pregnancy-related ailments. I did the moxibustion she recommended (probably the most comical of the things on this list). I did everything except the ECV (a procedure where the doctor manually tries to rotate the baby), which I opted out of because I felt the risks were higher than the likelihood that it would work.
Eventually I accepted that I needed to stop trying to control my baby’s position. For all I knew, there was a valid reason why he was breech and maybeit was the safest position for him in my womb. I accepted that what he did was no longer in my control, and we scheduled a c-section for 39 weeks and 1 day.
I was terrified to have major abdominal surgery. It didn’t help that when I told people it would be happening, the responses were everything from “oh cool, you get to take the shortcut” to “well shit, that’s sub-optimal” to “have you considered a midwife homebirth who will still deliver vaginally?” Every response had me feeling like I had already failed the project I’d been working so hard on and that I’d end up feeling like I’d been denied the ideal birth I was “supposed” to have.
Let me be the one to tell you – having a scheduled c-section was actually pretty awesome. It didn’t take long after surgery for everything that had gone down to really sink in, which made me realize that with so much negativity about c-sections out there (some valid, some not), it was now my duty to be the c-section hype girl for other birthing parents in the same position as me. Despite my concerns, I didn’t give a shit about not getting to try a vaginal birth. My baby arrived with both of us remaining safe and healthy and that was all that mattered to me.
For the actual surgery, we were in and out of the OR in about an hour. That’s all it took start to finish. We spent a few hours in recovery after that where I snacked on ice chips and breastfed for the first time, but I wasn’t expected to move or do anything until hours after we arrived in our room. I just sat there like a sloth and let everyone else deal with me while I held my baby and healed.
The pain meds were top-tier. I was worried about suddenly feeling pain as they were cutting through my uterus, and I expressed this fear to the medical team who assured me all I’d feel is some tugging and pressure. When they told me I passed the “poke test” after getting the pain meds and I didn’t even know they did a poke test, my fears were alleviated and I was able to relax and let them get the job done.
The catheter was a luxurious break from the demands of my bladder. I’ve only heard negative things about a catheter, but those 12 hours without having to get up to pee were blissful. It’s especially nice after you’ve spent months with a fetus kicking you.
I have a cool scar. It was definitely tender and painful for a few weeks after birth, but ice pads and pain meds kept it under control as it healed. Now, I love it.
I know that not everyone’s c-section experience is as chill and positive as mine. Everyone’s birth story, feelings, and experiences are valid. Still, I think it’s important to put it out there that if you have to have a c-section and all the negativity out there makes you feel terrified and like a failure, you don’t have to feel that way. It’s possible for your experience to be positive and wonderful with no complications, as mine was. C-sections are the most common surgery performed in the United States. Mine was the 4th one the doctors had done that morning. Chances are overwhelmingly high that it will go well, you will be fine, and you will be too busy feeling joy and excitement while meeting your new baby to care about much else. Don’t let anyone else’s smug opinions about how birth is “supposed” to go take that away from you. If someone tries to act like you took the easy route to childbirth, ask them if they consider an appendectomy the “easy route” to avoiding sepsis.
What to Bring to the Hospital for a C-Section
You don’t need to bring a lot to the hospital, but I do have some recommendations (some of these are affiliate links):
Grippy Socks. Bring some socks with a grippy bottom in case you don’t like the ones provided by the hospital. I bought a pack of these and still wear them around the house on the regular.
Slip-on shoes. I bought a pair of Kizik’s during pregnancy and they’re still my go-to shoes. It was super helpful during pregnancy and the postpartum period to have a reliable pair of sneakers that didn’t require me to bend over.
Birthing/Postpartum Nightgown. I brought two gowns with me and I’m so glad I did. By the morning after surgery, all I wanted was to change out of the hospital gown. I brought this one by Kindred Bravely which has velcro to give the doctors and your nursing baby easy access, but ended up changing into a button-down gown from Target because I worried that my baby was rubbing against the velcro and getting uncomfortable. I prefer the buttons.
I also brought this set of Kindred Bravely postpartum nursing top and bottoms. It’s super soft which is all you want in the hospital, and the bottoms are low compression so you can stretch them over your incision and bandages without causing any discomfort. The top is nice for the easy nursing access, which if you choose to breastfeed, you’ll be doing a LOT of in those first few days.
Nursing pillow. I didn’t bring one of these when I had my son, but I will be bringing one for my next birth. With limited post-surgery mobility, it was difficult and tedious to learn how to nurse while stuffing random hospital pillows under my arms and the baby to try to get comfortable. Having the My Brest Friend pillow would have been super helpful and alleviated some neck pain from holding him in awkward positions. It’s the pillow I recommend for nursing through the newborn stage.
Extra long phone charger. I don’t know why, but the recommendations that you bring a long charging cord make sense. You won’t want to move from your bed anymore than absolutely necessary but you will want to scroll on your phone and send people pictures, so this helps.
Basic toiletries. Toothbrush and toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, soap, deodorant, brush. I didn’t take a shower the whole time we were at the hospital, but still brought everything just in case I felt inspired. It can’t hurt to have it on hand.
Big ass straw cup. Stanley, Hydroflask, whatever. You are gonna be THIRSTY.
Snacks. Make sure you have some on hand for when you’re able to eat again. My husband raided the hospital bodega as soon as he had the chance, but I didn’t want to risk either of us getting too hangry if we needed something before he was able to do a food run.
Cute outfits and swaddles for baby. I brought these in case I felt inspired to take cute newborn photos, but to my surprise, my hospital had a company (Bella Baby Photos) offer to come in and take some for me. I paid around $200 for two dozen digital newborn photos that were taken 24 hours after he was born and it was worth every penny. They turned out AMAZING and you wouldn’t even know they were taken in a hospital room. I’m so glad I brought a couple outfits and blankets for this purpose. And that I had the black Kindred Bravely set so I could get in a photo without looking like I just had a catheter removed.
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